#BlogElul 6 – Faith
Last Shabbat I was in the Alaska wilderness celebrating and honoring the beauty of God’s creations with my family. For me – and maybe for you – sights and sounds like these connect me to God and remind me that this universe cannot be just one big coincidence. Sights and sounds like these reaffirm, restore and strengthen my faith.
Denali National Park. Imagine six million more acres of this:
Mt McKinley (also known by her native name as Denali) as seen on a perfectly clear day from Denali National Park. Definitely a shehecheyanu moment as only 30% of visitors see the Denali in her full glory.
Along the White Pass in British Columbia, Canada:
Sunset in the Inside Passage:
The sacred sound of laughter and play of children, young and old (my niece, nephews and brother):
The love of family (my sons):
Shabbat shalom!
#BlogElul 5 – Trust
I just returned home from a morning yoga practice. As is often part of the practice, the teacher invited us to set an intention for our practice. My intention – today’s Elul theme: trust. For 90 minutes, while flowing from pose to pose, inhaling and exhaling, I tried to focus my thoughts on the idea of trust: who do I trust? why is it sometimes hard to trust? what helps us build trust?
Trust is a scary thing. It requires us to open ourselves up; to be vulnerable. It requires us to be open and accepting, aware and dependent on others. It requires us to let go. That can be hard!
Just yesterday Max came home from his second day of high school describing how in his PE class they did team building games that concluded with trust falls. The 20-some freshmen in the class, who have only known each other for a couple of days, had to catch each other as they attempted trust falls at increasing degrees of difficulty. At the final stage the “faller” had to stand on a 4 ft high ledge and fall back into the waiting arms of his/her teacher and classmates. At his age, I would have freaked out, but Max loved it. He was able to let go and fall into their arms. I am sure that today in PE the dynamic between the teens will be very different – in a good way. That teacher is helping them build a sense of connection & bonding, group dependence and trust that will, God willing, carry them through their high school years and beyond.
Elul is a scary time too. We look toward the self-reflective rituals and liturgy of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Our machzor (High Holy Day prayer-book) holds a mirror up to our souls. We look back on the year that has past. We look forward to the year that lays ahead. We sometimes confront pain, loss, hurt. We sometimes relive moments of joy, love, laughter. We may have dashed hopes, or renewed hopes. All of this swirls around in our heads and hearts for the month of Elul and the 10 days of the Yamim Noraim (Holy Days).
It is trust (and faith…that’s for Day #6) that helps get us through.
Trust in our family, friends and community: we will support each other through the difficult and painful moments of our season. We will forgive. We will be forgiven. We will lift each other up.
Trust in ourselves: We are good. We are human (read, not perfect and not expected to be). We can grow and learn.
Trust in God. The Psalmist says it best (Psalm 90):
I lift my eyes to the mountains;
What is the source of my help?
My help comes from Adonai,
Maker of heaven and earth.
This morning, on my mat, I asked myself, “who do I trust?” These were my answers. What’s yours?
#BlogElul: Day 3 Intentions
Dear Gail and Barry,Thank you so much for the beautiful study session this morning. From the moment I joined the call I had a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart, instantly transported back to our days in Cleveland. Passionate, compassionate colleagues to learn, explore and grow with…
Gail and Barry, thank you for helping me begin to set my own intentions for this new year, open the door to new learnings, new transformations and new journeys.
This morning I noticed an interesting conversation on Huffington Post Religion section asking if yoga is a spiritual practice. Not surprisingly, people were coming down on all sides: yes.. no… sometimes… maybe… everything should be a spiritual practice…
Before even reading the conversation I had planned to return to the yoga studio this afternoon. After a minor injury to my elbow while bike riding 2 months ago, I had been instructed “No yoga until its healed!” My heart skipped a beat this week when my physical therapist told me I could return to my yoga practice. (Thank you Rolando!) While the elbow is not yet 100%, it’s time to focus on some strength building. Yoga is perfect for that.
My family will tell you that when I’m able to practice yoga regularly I’m much happier, calmer and focused. So today was a really good day. I took a deep inhale and a long, slow exhale.. and many more… when I settled onto my mat at Perfect Balance Yoga.
A couple years ago, one of my favorite studios in the Tri-Valley, Downtown Yoga, asked its students to write about what their yoga practice meant to them. At that time I had been practicing regularly for about 10 years. I had learned so much about myself and my body that I was compelled to take up invitation to write. Here’s what I wrote:
Thank you for the opportunity to put into words the richness that yoga has brought to my life. Well, actually, I am sure the richness was always there, but it is because of yoga that I have a greater sense of and appreciation for its presence. Bringing yoga into my life has been a transformative experience for me.
I had been dabbling with yoga for several years, but it wasn’t until I walked into Downtown Yoga one Friday morning, that yoga really became a regular part of my life. In the past 8 years, I have learned so much about myself through my yoga practice. I cannot imagine the woman I would be today if I did not have yoga as part of it.
Yoga has helped me become a more confident woman. I used to be somewhat shy, reserved, and tentative about speaking my mind, especially in new situations. Yoga has helped me shed that shyness and share myself more with those around me. I have become more self-assured and self-confident.
Yoga has given me the confidence to take more risks, on and off the mat. I used to be the person who would say, “I can’t do that,” without even trying. I was chicken. I was afraid what other people would think of me. Yoga has taught me to try, to take risks, and to have fun in the process. In learning to focus on my own practice, stretching my own boundaries, I have become less concerned with what others think. I do the things I want to do. I say the things that think need to be said. Yet, at the same time, yoga has helped me recognize my limits. While each time I come to the mat I am able to push those limits a little bit, move myself forward. I know where those limits are now. They are much broader than they used to be! And I am having a lot more fun!
Yoga has, of course, helped me physically. I am stronger. I am more flexible. I have a greater awareness of my body. I am happier in my own skin. Little did I know that yoga would also help me emotionally and psychologically. Last year, when going through a very stressful time, I noticed how closely linked my yoga practice was to my emotional health. Yoga helped me recognize where I was emotionally, gave me the time and space to work through stuff while on my mat, and take new insights off the mat into my life. Daily yoga practice got me through that difficult period.
Yoga continues to give me the much-needed break from the pressures of work, caring for family, etc. I am a caretaker by nature, always putting the needs of family and friends first. As much as I love being there to help others, sometimes I feel like I sacrifice my own needs and concerns for theirs. Yoga gives me the time and space to take care of myself, to give myself what I need each day.
As a rabbi, I have always struggled with my prayer life. That isn’t a bad thing; its part of being Jewish. Israel means “one who wrestles with God.” Yoga, with its Hindu spiritual roots, has given me different types of prayer experiences. Those experiences have helped me define what I need and want in my Jewish prayer experience. I pray on my yoga mat, I pray in the synagogue, I meditate, and all of those are good. Yoga has helped me take advantage of the varieties of prayer experiences I can have.
Finally, yoga has given me friends. Yoga can be at the same time both an individual and communal practice. My yoga practice has given me the opportunity to meet and make new friends here in the Tri-Valley. I meet new people when I visit yoga studios on my travels. I have renewed connections with old friends who also practice yoga.
Namaste and shalom.
My yoga journey resumes today. I am grateful for all my teachers over the years who have given me the gift of yoga that has so enriched my life. Thank you, Laurie, Kelli, Suzanna, Dina, Karen, Marcella, Jim, Kate, Michelle, Rabbi Lisa, Joanne, Gio, Beth, Winter, Donna, Gloria for all being my teachers.
We just returned home after two very full and fulfilling weeks at URJ Camp Newman. We had time with camp friends, old and new, we enjoyed camp food (really!), we hiked and sang and prayed and talked and sang some more. I had all good intentions of blogging while at camp. I clearly didn’t succeed. I hope to share more about our experiences this summer in future posts. Here’s one to start.
It is hard to explain to adults outside of our usual circle of friends what it is like to give two weeks of our lives each year to volunteer at a Jewish summer camp. It’s kind of like that line from the American Pie movies, “…one time at band camp…” They just don’t get it.
Now that I am home, I have been reflecting on what I really like about being at camp each summer. Here’s my top 7 list, in no particular order.
1. Waking up with a different Jewish song in my head each day. It seemed like more often than not this summer I awoke with a song or two in my head. The most persistent melodies were –
- A beautiful Oseh Shalom written by Elana Jagoda, “May the one, may the one who brings peace, bring peace down, bring peace down.”
- A cute little ditty that the kids were singing at Kibbutz Yarok (affectionately called OKY) about love and sunshine that goes like this – “Deep inside my heart I’ve got this everlasting love. Its shining like the sun. It radiates on everyone. And the more that give, the more I’ve got to give. It’s the way that I live. It’s what I’m living for.” Since I can’t sing, you can Google the lyrics and find some silly videos of really granola-looking people singing it. Beware though, the tune is infectious.
2. The politeness and appreciation of our kids. Our children are their best selves while at camp. They say please and thank you. They aren’t rude or mean to each other. They don’t pass judgement. They fill each other’s buckets rather than empty them. They make space for the rabbi to cut in front of them in the buffet line for lunch because she needs to get to another program on time. They are appreciative of all the staff and faculty are doing for them. They feel pure joy and that translates into gratitude and appreciation for the gifts Jewish camp has to offer them.
3. Its alright to cry. Its alright to laugh. Its alright to be still and quiet. Camp is a place in which we can feel the sadness, joy, exaltation, pain, stillness that a moment brings. No matter what the emotion, everyone knows that s/he will be met with support, love, care and concern rather than with judgement, dismay and dismissal.
4. Family. We are a family at summer camp. We return each summer with the same friends. We pick up where we left off, catch up on the year’s trials and tribulations. We take care of each other. We boost each other up enough to carry that love and support throughout the year, until next summer. 
5. Deep conversations. At camp you can have those deep and meaningful conversations that don’t seem to happen out in the “real” world. The great thing about these conversations is that they are usually spontaneous. They aren’t part of a preplanned educational program, and some of them aren’t even with the campers. My time this summer included some amazing conversations about what Judaism says real love looks like, what the concept of chosenness means to me, and even about Jewish and Christian theology. (This last one was with a fellow rabbi…don’t worry we aren’t teaching Christian theology at Jewish summer camp.) Camp is a place where we can ask those BIG questions and explore the role Judaism plays in our lives. 
6. Quiet. Without the white noise of traffic, reruns of Law and Order SVU, or the phone ringing, I hear my inner voice. It can be so quiet (except in the chadar ocher – dining hall – when the kids are singing along to Katy Perry while cleaning up their tables). I come to appreciate that silence and the space it gives me to sit and just think, instead of constantly running and doing.
7. Not getting enough sleep. I’m usually an in-bed-by-10 type of person. At camp, that all gets thrown out the window. (And sometimes its hard to get back into the routine, as evidenced by the fact that it is after 11 PM and I’m still awake.) Camp is about staying up late talking with good friends, singing around the camp fire or while hanging out in the cabin, laughing together and enjoying each other’s company .
What I love most about our time at Jewish summer camp is that I know that many, many of our kids are having these same experiences. They are laughing and crying, learning about themselves and about those around them, exploring the world and Judaism, talking and singing, listening to the silence and to their inner voices, and developing lasting relationships that make friends into family.
What I love most about Jewish summer camp is that I know our children are reaping the benefits of its nurturing and sustenance in a Jewish environment.
I am grateful that I get to return each year and reap those benefits as well.
This Shabbat I am thinking about transitions, beginnings and endings. So much to be grateful for this Shabbat. So much to pray about this Shabbat.
– both my children are home. School has ended for the year. Summer vacation has begun. We have been so busy the last several weeks. I am making Shabbat dinner — challah too — at home for our whole family for the first time since Passover. Our table will be set for 4 which for us is a number of wholeness. 
– new life came into the world today. I am so happy for our dear friends who became grandparents for the first time today. Mazel tov to Marissa and Joey and their beautiful baby boy Braxton Lev. I can’t wait to celebrate with them as we welcome Braxton into the Jewish community at his bris.
– this week Max finished middle school and my honeybun, Shayna (my niece) graduated from preschool. Where does the time go!? I am so proud of them as they embark on their new educational adventures of high school and kindergarten in the fall. They have both, each in their own way, grown so much this year.
– Friends and colleagues, Rabbis Phyllis and Michael Sommer found out this week that their young son Sam has leukemia. They are a loving and strong family. I am praying that Sam will find refuah sh’leimah (complete healing) very soon! Join me in following their blog Superman Sam and praying for their family.
– Friends and colleagues across the country are making transitions in their lives – moving synagogues, moving homes. Today’s Facebook feed was filled with news about “final Shabbats” and good wishes for new journeys. As we approach the 1 year anniversary of our own move to a new community, I empathize, I sympathize and I remember the bittersweet memories of those moments.
This Shabbat we read Parshat Shelach Lecha, beginning at Number 13:1. This too is a time of transition for the Israelites. Almost ready to enter in to the Promised Land, Moses sends scouts out into Canaan. Many of the scouts return with reports of giants and foreign tribes who would overcome the Israelites. These scouts have lost their faith in God; they succumb to fear and the unknown. God sees this and punishes them. Joshua and Caleb, leaders of the scouting party, on the other hand, submit a different report to Moses and the community. They remain optimistic, faithful in God’s promise that the Israelites would inhabit the land God had given to Abraham their forefather.
This Shabbat is a time of transition for us all. For some of us it is a significant transition, like a graduation, a new diagnosis or a new phase of life. For others, we may simply be ending a work week, looking forward to a relaxing Shabbat and weekend. Regardless of the gravity of our transitions today, may we all be like Joshua and Caleb — grateful for our blessings, optimistic in the face of fear and change and the unknown, faithful in God.
Shabbat shalom.
I live in a family of musicians. My husband, Rick, has been playing strings (banjo and guitar) since he was nine. He even boasts about having retired as a “professional musician” (i.e. paid) at the age of 18. Our sons both play instruments as well. Strings of course. Saul primarily plays guitar. Max will begin the next stage of his educational career at University High School in Fresno, CA, a college preparatory high school on the campus of Fresno State that attracts students with a common interest in music. His repertoire of instruments is up to 5 strings and a couple of brass (upright bass, electric bass, mandolin, guitar, violin, trumpet, trombone).
I spend a lot of time schlepping Max to and from various music lessons, recitals and events. I love supporting his growth as a musician and basking of the glow of his excitement about it. He loves learning music theory, collaborating with friends, accompanying his rabbi-dad on the bima during Shabbat services. This past year he had the wonderfully enriching experience of playing in the Youth Orchestras of Fresno.
The joke in our family is that “mom plays the radio”. And the boys do concede that I am probably the best at “Name that Tune”…I can name that song in fewer notes than other family members.
Lately, Max has been trying to explain music theory to me. He tries to teach me about chord progressions, transposing, how to read music and lots of other stuff I don’t understand. He’s been teaching me different musical terms like allegro and andante. I am finding this very challenging – the lessons he is teaching me are not sticking. Just today his bass teacher was trying to explain to me how we need to get a piece of music transposed “up a full step” for tomorrow night’s special studio recital. I had to pass the instructions onto Max so that he would know what to do.
I’ve never really found myself in this position, in which my child is learning something so significant that I am not already familiar with.
This experience is probably very similar to that of the non-Jewish or non-Hebrew reading parent who enrolls their child in a congregational Hebrew school or Jewish day school. That child comes home with this new language, an excitement about learning the aleph-bet, an eagerness to put letters and vowels together, to create sentences in this beautiful language. All the while, all the parent can do is sit by, supportive, reflecting back their pride in new learning, and appreciate, but not understand. Perhaps not even participate.
It makes me wonder about our Jewish communities…
– What are we doing to help the non-Jewish or non-Hebrew reading parents feel more comfortable as their children embark on their Hebrew education?
– How many congregations and day schools are offering beginning Hebrew for adults?
– Could we be teaching intergenerational Hebrew courses where parents and children learn together?
– For those that are teaching the adults, how are we crafting learning experience for their adult learning needs and styles, or are we infantilizing them by using resources designed for children?
– What have we learned in recent years about language acquisition in adults that we should be applying to our adult Hebrew courses?
These are not new questions in our Reform Jewish world. For me though, I am thinking about them anew.
This blog was posted earlier today on Tzeh U’llimad : A Blog of Continuing Jewish Learning of the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion.
Summer is here! It’s that time of year we send our children and congregants off to summer camp or pack our own bags to spend time on faculty at one of our URJ summer camps. The summer camp experience is one in which – young or old – we have the potential to build deep and lasting relationships with peers and mentors. Much like our youth, I find myself counting the days till our return to URJ Camp Newman, an invaluable time for connection, reflection and fun with dear friends and colleagues.
“Relationships” is a buzzword in the Jewish world right now. We are asking questions. How do we build relationships? What does a community founded on deep relationships look like? What role do relationships play in strengthening one’s connection to Judaism?
The quintessential Jewish model of a meaningful, one could even say sacred, relationship is Martin Buber’s model of the “I-Thou” relationship, when we accept another person for who s/he is. We see the person as a whole being. Buber differentiates this from the “I-It” relationship in which we perceive another person as an object to be either manipulated or used for our own self-gratification.
There are a growing number of books that address these questions about relationships. In recent months I have expanded my Kindle and paper libraries with variety of disciplinary approaches to these questions about relationships. So, in between other more causal summer reads, I might suggest you dip into some of these as well:
- Community: The Structure of Belonging (Peter Block, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2008) – A look at what it takes to build a community in which people feel a sense of ownership and investment in its well-being.
- The Courage to Teach (Parker Palmer, Jossey-Bass, 1998) – From the educator’s perspective, a challenge to look inward and realize what we bring to our relationships with our students and constituents.
- MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend (Rachel Bertsche, Ballantine Books, 2011) – A humorous look at what it means to be a “best friend” and how we build friendships.
- Never Eat Alone – And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time (Keith Ferrazzi. Doubleday, 2005) – From the ultimate business schmoozer-networker-connector perspective, this book provides insight into how we can use relationships to create win-win situations for everyone.
- Relationships Unfiltered (Andrew Root, Zondervan, 2009) – A Christian youth ministry book about how we create authentic relationships with our youth in a religious/spiritual context
Each of these authors addresses the same question: What are we trying to accomplish, if anything, in our relationships? Whether it is our own relationships or those we are trying to help our youth and congregants build, we need to be sure we are clear on our answer to this question.
Often times, as seen in “I-It” relationships, we are trying to influence someone to act, believe, or behave, as we would like them to. Come to this youth group event. Go to religious school. Do this mitzvah. Why? Because everyone else is going. Because I said so. Because it’s our tradition. Rather than a goal of influence, Andrew Root shifts the paradigm back to Buber, suggesting that our relationships should be based on the goal of simply being present. In a true “I-Thou” relationship, we are present with each other, to see each other for who we are, accept each other for who we are, support and accompany each other on our journeys. Root writes, “the fullness of a person (her dreams, joys, pains, fears)” should be more important to us than “her ability to know, admit, believe, and commit.”
In an almost opposite approach, Keith Ferrazzi, a marketing and sales consultant, teaches that “relationships are like muscles – the more you work them, the stronger they become.” Much of his self-help approach to success through networking focuses how relationships can open doors, create opportunities, and lead to greater influence on others. He takes the position that people are loyal to their peers, their networks and those with whom they have relationships. It makes me wonder, though, how could we do a better job of building relationships in our communities so that we build stronger more lasting allegiances and connections to Reform Judaism and Jewish community?
Parker Palmer, from his Quaker background, reminds us that relationships have a sacred quality to them. That which makes the Jewish relationship sacred is the presence of God, Torah and Judaism. When we build Jewish relationships of meaning, Judaism and all that is part of it, is in the middle. Palmer reminds us of verses from Robert Frost: “We dance round a ring and suppose,/ But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.” In response to this couplet, Palmer invites us to consider that when we bring that Secret – in our case Judaism – into the center of our relationships, we can have conversations with Judaism and with each other that helps us each find meaning and answers that bring us wholeness.
My family and I will be back at URJ Camp Newman in just days. While there with friends and colleagues, while interacting with young Jews eager to learn, grow and connect, I will carry the challenge of strengthening our relationship with each other. While sometimes we might be circled around a campfire, a guitar and a siddur, or a bottle of Napa Valley p’ri hagafen, each moment will be made sacred with God’s presence.
Yesterday was Rosh Chodesh Sivan, the beginning of the new month of Sivan in the Hebrew calendar. As they have been doing since 1988, the Women of the Wall
– Jewish Israeli woman and Jewish women from around the world – gathered at the Kotel (Western Wall) in Jerusalem to “come together to form a women’s prayer group. They completed the shacharit service and Hallel in front of the Wall and then moved to Robinson’s Arch in order to read Torah and conclude the service.”
Yesterday’s service was interrupted when 3 American female rabbinic students were detained for questioning by Kotel security officers when the women were seen wearing their talitot in the manner of a “prayer shawl” rather than as a “scarf”. You can read more about this incident on the Women of the Wall website or by watching this brief video interview of these brave young women.
I share many of the sentiments of these women in that I too do not feel the Kotel is a place that is welcoming for me to pray in the manner that I would like. There have even been occasions in which I have been in Jerusalem and not gone to the Kotel at all during my visit. It is incredibly sad for me to know that this is a holy place for my people and when I go there I feel judged, watched, restricted from my own personal expression of prayer. I honor, admire and support the Women of the Wall for taking a stand and fighting this ongoing battle for religious freedom.
I was particularly moved by yesterday’s incident because it was yet another example of the assumptions that continue to be promulgated and legalized in Israel that according to traditional Jewish law women are not allowed to wear a talit during prayer.
As a teen, as a curious Reform Jew and as a budding feminist, I was (and continue to be) a passionate learner of Torah and Jewish text. It was in my high school years that I had my first opportunity to learn about the many ways that Jews understand and interpret Jewish texts and laws. I was blessed to be part of a study group that was led by an orthodox yeshiva student and attended by mostly orthodox teens my own age. Together we studied, dialogued, challenged and questioned the texts. This orthodox man was one of the first people to teach me about the traditional laws regarding the wearing of a talit for prayer. I had been given a talit on the occasion of becoming bat mitzvah and I was eager to learn more about it.
In that very memorable study session, I took away this lesson: While the talit is considered a “time bound mitzvah” – Jews are required to wear it during morning prayers – and women are not obligated to observe all of the “time bound” mitzvot, women are not prohibited from doing so either. If I, as a Jewish woman, want to wear a talit, I must commit to doing so regularly. If I am going to take on the “obligation” of wearing the talit, I should not do so lightly and must make the commitment to doing so seriously.
The Women of the Wall, and thousands of supporters, are women such as myself who take seriously the commitment to prayer and praying with kavannah (intention and focus). For years we have been fighting for the simple right to pray at the Kotel and to pray with our talitot wrapped around our shoulders. That simple act of wearing a talit is currently illegal in Israel and those violating it could be imprisoned for seven years.
I love Israel. I love being in Israel. I love our worldwide Jewish community and all of its diversity of practice and interpretation of Jewish tradition. I pray that some time soon – God willing, even in our lifetime – we can figure out a way to accept our different interpretations of Torah and Jewish law and allow for religious freedom for all – men and women, Jews, Christians and Muslims, young and old – in Israel.
Rabbi Laura 